Proposed endings

...for comicbook villains. After all, who deserves it more?

-Doc Oc, in a retirement home, drives those around him nuts. Inevitably, he regains his tentacles, and breaks a hip. Convalescing, he continues to annoy those around him.

-The Joker, declaring, "It's just not worth it, anymore," goes straight (but remains unhinged) and realizes his dream of being in showbiz, as a radio DJ and late-night host. Batman doesn't believe it, and wastes an hour every night watching Joker's show, refusing to admit he likes it.

-Bullseye careens into a self destructive pattern that finally does him in. Everyone he's ever worked for or against tries in some way or another to talk him out of it, to no avail. Deadpool offers to make it quick and kill Bullseye himself, but is turned down. The man who can turn anything into a weapon is eventually slain by some no name punk in a foreign country, where no one knows him.

-Luthor, dying an inadvertent death, has his life flash before his eyes, and dies happy, even without having killed Superman. In a brief epilogue, various media and personal reaction follows. The last panel has Clark at Lex's funeral, looking sadder than one might expect.

-The Penguin throws a party, where he remains at once aloof from and tangentially tied to both crime and legitimate business and social concerns. He will never have to tangle with the likes of Batman again.

-Bane decides he's happier in prison than out, and gets himself put away for life with an intentionally bungled gas-station burglary. He ends up running life inside the prison while wearing glasses and reading the latest high literature.

-An elderly Riddler trains a kid to take his place, perhaps with the reveal that this kid is, in fact, the new Robin on his first assignment. If that route is taken, this remains unknown to Edward Nigma.

Longer comics series

Some recommendations for those interested in something longer lasting than a graphic novel:

Usagi Yojimbo - a heartfelt exploration of a society long gone by a masterful Japanese cartoonist, Stan Sakai, who has spent almost his whole life in Hawaii; deceptively simple and cartoonish on first glance, the art and storytelling share a strong sense of economy rare to comics; Sakai is an award winning letter, and his inking is some of the best in the business; 22 volumes and counting

Vagabond - perhaps the best comic being published anywhere today, this manga follows the lives of Miyamoto Mushashi, wandering swordsman, and his contemporaries (with a particular interest in two of his childhood friends); the art effortlessly slips between bold brush strokes to light line work, or watercolours to black and white; the layouts and transitions from panel to panel are excellent; the fight scenes progress logically and show a surprisingly realistic understanding of both the mental and physical sides of conflict; a joy to read, everything about the series gets better as it goes along; 29 volumes and still going

Blade of the Immortal - a sometimes cynical, sometimes sentimental story of revenge and redemption focused on a young teen girl whose parents have been murdered and the immortal swordsman, whom she convinces to help her; the 22 volume drops in January

Cerebus - an odd, absurd, surreal parody of anything and everything Dave Sims could think of, but especially of comicbooks; at turns serious and intellectual, at turns completely farcical, each book is a dense read, and there are something like 30 volumes

Hellboy & BPRD - perfect for when you feel like curling up with a ghost story; I've lost track of how many books there are in these series, but it's over a dozen combned

Kane - Paul Grist delivers some of the best crime genre work in contemporary comics; his layouts are fantastic, and the art's not shabby, either; may be out of print in the US, but still available on the used circuit, often at descent rates

Madman - the pop-art action series that launched Mike Allred's career; good, quirky fun


Preacher - its convoluted plot and sophomoric, angst ridden anti-Christian bent aside (and, being an atheist, I am well acquainted with such rants), this series is highly entertaining for those with a dark sense of humour and a taste for a bit of gore

Berserk - at one time, this was the best manga being published; a heady adventure series which starts with a dark and disturbed world run by monsters, then shows how things got to that point, while following a youthful band of highly successful mercenaries

GrimJack - a genre bending work set in Cynosure, the nexus of all realities, and following John Gaunt, an aging badass who works as something of a private detective out of the back of a bar; classic work recently revisited by John Ostrander and Tim Truman

American Flagg - newly back in print, this was Howard Chaykin's big break, and he went for it, envisioning a corporatist future engulfed in violence and vice; its hard edges are softened by a pulpy sense of humour

Conan - high adventure of all sorts written and drawn by some of the best

Nexus - Baron and Rude's ongoing masterpiece follows a man given mysterious powers and driven (by visions and headaches) to execute mass murderers throughout the galaxy; deals in politics, romance, espionage, and comedy, as well as action

Love and Rockets - perhaps the definitive black and white alternative collection, the Hernandez brothers form a drama spanning countries and generations; balanced between pulpy and sometimes soap-operish tendencies, and a real care for humans as living, breathing, feeling individuals

The Flaming Carrot - following Wally Wood's Plastic Man, this is the next step in semi-surreal comics action; a hard boiled parody featuring a hero whose mask is a giant, flaming carrot

American Splendor - real life tales and reflections from a very interesting and intelligent author

The Goon - ridiculous thirties pulp action involving the mob, zombies, giant robots, and sundry animals

Independent authors many of whose works may as well be series:

Jason - a minimalist with a strong sense of story, and real feeling for his subjects

Will Eisner - one of the early masters and innovators of the medium remained among the best until his death a few years ago

Paul Hornschemeier - at turns poetic, absurd, and touching, Hornschemeier has written some of the best comics of this decade, especially Mother Come Home, which stands as one of my favourite works of literature in any genre

Joe Sacco - comics' best journalist and historian; his art, writing, and layouts are all distinctive; he has an eye for engaging characters, and a mind made for exploring their personalities

Chabon

I have now read three novels and one collection of essays by Michael Chabon, and a series of comics based around his character, the Escapist, created within the pages of The Amazing Adventures Kavalier and Clay. All were satisfying in their own way, and I admit I couldn't put down the aforementioned award winning book, but none were quite so compelling as The Yiddish Policemen's Union.

The later it gets, the more typos I make.

Not happy about the prospect of getting up early (especially with it being 3am) tomorrow to help my dad's church celebrate the politically chosen day of an ancient rabbi's birth.  Why couldn't the Catholics have decided to do this sometime when I wouldn't freeze my balls off waiting for the bus?

These is me, 9 years ago or more.

I have more of a beard, now.
But less hair.

Remakes, sequels, and originality in Hollywood

Many people decry Hollywood for its lack of originality, what with all the sequels, rehashed plots, adaptations, and remakes. I understand this critique. I feel its draw. But, when I think about it, I'm not against those things. Riffing on a theme is the basis for a lot of great art, including some movies. If we couldn't appreciate taking the same pieces through different moves (or different pieces through the same moves), we'd never retell our own stories, never play the same boardgame twice, and hate all music not based on random note choices.

I'd like to say I am simply against bad movies, but this is not entirely true. I can have fun with bad movies. Hell, I've seen They Live and Class of 1999 at least a dozen times each; Blade 2 is one of my favourite films; and while I didn't like Mission Impossible 2, I did like making fun of it.

What's more, even less than enjoyable material can offer us something, when it points to better works. I never would have seen Death Race 2000 (with David Karadine and Sly Stallone) if it hadn't been for the lesser Death Race of 2008, nor would I have watched The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (starring Walther Matthau) had it not been for the recently panned remake. Similarly, there are many (more or less) worthy books and comics which have gained exposure thanks to arguably less inspired films.

I propose a rule I know will not be followed--and not just because no one in Hollywood will read this: Only bad movies with good concepts or premises should be remade; producers and execs shall make it their goal to directly recycle, reuse, and refashion only the bad so it becomes good.

The first of these should be The Big Hit. There's so much there. Whoever works on it, just needs to decide to take it in one direction or another, rather than trying to make it dramatic, absurd, comedic, and tragic without any sense of itself as a whole. Shoot. You could even have Marky Mark reprise his lead role. That alone would sell the film. Come on, you bastards, I know you're not reading this. Remake The Big Hit.

Mark Millar brings loser chic to superheroes.

By using superheroes in titles like Wanted and Kick Ass, Millar has brought the navel gazing and Gen-X-style angst of self indulgent, pity-party indie comics to what may loosely be termed a mainstream audience. This would be pathetic enough by itself, but it gets worse.

Part of his popularity is based on dismantling the superhero (or supervillain, as the case may be) as fantasy fulfilment. Nevermind that this work was done with far more aplomb (and even subtlety) well over twenty years ago by the likes of Alan Moore, Frank Miller, John Ostrander, Mike Grell, Steve Ditko, and Howard Chaykin. Millar's protagonists exist in a hyperrealistic world where they remain scrawny cry-babies at heart, no matter how good they have it. This isn't deconstruction, it's embracing all that is wrong with nerd culture. Aggrandizing petty suffering and self doubt to such heroic heights as to make martyrs of geeks everywhere reinforces the need for fantasy fulfilment. Playing into and then gleefully accepting a character's poorer justifications for proactive, yet anti-social (and often self debasing) behaviour veiled in a thin veneer of cynicism discourages normal interaction while building into the old hero-worship another prototype, a new mythology: that of the loser.

This is evidently what Mark Millar thinks of his readership. --It's probably also what he thinks of himself. His writing shows, if not a lot of thought, a depth of experience in and feeling for 'mainstream' comics and nerd culture.-- Meanwhile, fans clamour for more. Do they want to be told they are losers, or do they want to be told that is okay?

Either way, it's sad.

--And don't get me started on his Civil War nonsense for Marvel. That just shows he thinks comics fans are dumb, too. That series may have had the worst resolution of any major 'event' series in American comics, and, yes, I know there have been some bad ones.--