Pointless Man

Jesus said something to the effect that he spoke in parables so those with ears for such stories might hear him and those without would confounded. Jesus was a clever sod, and nobody ever accused him of being humble, but he was fairly straightforward in this answer. He spoke in interesting stories and metaphors to bar people from following him when they might otherwise do so. In light of Christian doctrine, I suppose this is a bit cruel, especially when Jesus goes on about how bad it will be come judgment for those who saw him and didn't convert, but it could also be argued to be just--and I suppose this would be a defense of some nimble minded Christians. Anyway, this all occurred to me earlier this evening when talking with my dad about not getting through to people on deep subjects, especially in writing. I'm not going to place myself up there with Jesus or Nietzsche in terms of dialectical strength or right to weep at misinterpretation (the poor bastards). Not at all. I...

Done with Japanese for now, and glad of it.

My Japanese class is now in its eighth week, so there's tomorrow, and then two more weeks after that. Today, I've got an essay to write, this weekend I'll be studying for a test on Monday, and then the week after that I'll have a 4 minute presentation and another test covering three chapters. But no final. So. Soon. Soon, I will be free. Yes, free to look for a job, which I desperately want. I went to pains to keep next quarter's classes to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. This should give me more than enough flexibility to be able to study and work part time. If this quarter is any indication, being this busy will keep me reeling onward somehow, which I guess is actually how I weaved my way through much of middle school and high school, so, hey. Sounds like a plan. There's an old Japanese expression for extemporaneous writing which basically translates to following the pen. If I can be about as passive as all that without feeling too removed from the situation...

While ranting about the Japanese writing system, I noted that the language and its modes of conveyance had been used to keep class and sex structures in place. Today, while studying for one of my kanji quizzes, I noticed that the character for samatage or 'obstacle' is a single kanji containing the pictograms (radicals) for 'woman' and something along the lines of 'strong' or 'arm'. This cannot be said dryly enough: What a surprise.

Recently, I haven't been getting enough sleep. Add this to the stress of my Japanese class and the antidepresents I just hopped on, and things are spiraling, man. So, I need more sleep. I also need to study more. I grades suck right now, partly because the class is hard, partly because the grading system is cruel, and partly because I have been out of practice and just plain out of it. So, until the end of the quarter, I'm going to have to study my ass off, cut time on the computer, drop weekend activities, and try to get something like a regular sleeping schedule going on--none of which I have done with any long term success for years now. Is four weeks long term?

Apparently, SRIs have weird reactions to useful and serious medication for the relief of migraines. So, I can attempt to treat my depression or my crazy headaches, but not both. Unless I'm willing to spend $100 a month (being uninsured and all) on some preventative meds that I'm going to be sampling starting today. If they work, I may find myself needing to become better acquained with the marvelous health care system of my birth country. O Canada! Our home and native land, true patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts, we see thee rise, the True North, strong and free. From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. True, not quite as badass as the French national anthem, which commands the children of the patriarchy to march on until impure blood drowns their fields, but still the only song I know capable of drawing any kind of nationalis...

Had another test today. At first, I thought I did alright, then I began to feel a crushing sense of impending doom. So who knows how it went? I get to stress over it until Monday or try to move ahead somehow, knowing it's hanging over me. But my own struggles pale in comparison what one of my best friends is going through right now. His girlfriend went back home to Japan last month. She's a great gal, and he's really fallen hard for her, so he's been keeping contact with her via text messages, e-mails, and the like. No big deal, he was going to go see her in August, and then they were to return together in September. Last night, he stopped by and told me she had cancer. I didn't know what to say. Dismay is such a petty expression of sympathy. I suppose my friend was right in saying, "I know you don't believe in God, but I need you to just hope she's going to be okay, cuz that's all we can do." So I offered my support, and told him everything wo...